Pervy Sims

As my fellow Pervy Councillors know, I can often be found playing "The Sims 3", a miraculous gaming invention by giants in the gaming industry, "Electronic Arts". Being that I was inundating my Twitter feed with so many Sims 3 updates, occasionally to the amusement of my friends, I decided to recreate the Pervy Council in The Sims.

So, I started this game off with the latest expansion pack, "Late Night", which gave me a new city ("Bridgeport"), and several new features, including the opportunity to become a celebrity. "Late Night" also re-introduced the capacity to live in an apartment instead of a house (which we haven't seen since The Sims 2). Being that I wasn't planning to cheat (this time) and give my Sims loads of money so that they could buy a deliciously huge house, I put them all in an apartment. I soon discovered that the apartments were far too small for all of us. The Ministers for Music and YouTube were promptly kicked out to their own little apartment nearby, whilst the Ministers for Eurovision and Sex Education were banished to a separate apartment with the Lord of Panicked Exit Strategies. At the time of playing the game, the Pervy Queen and the Minister without Profiteroles were online on Twitter, so I decided to just play those two for the moment, and then switch households later on to keep up with the others.

Special Council Session - Tuesday 30th November 2010

*bangs gavel firmly and confidently, ensuring the Council's attention*

Pervy Councillors, good day to you all... *bows head*

Firstly, it is my very great pleasure to announce we have a new face amidst our number in here in Council Chambers and I would like you all to take the time to welcome JRR4FILM.

JRR4FILM has been good enough to take on the role of Minister for YouTube and it is my fond hope that we don't terrify him too much in his first weeks as a Councillor.


The second matter I wish to address is our continuing lack of a clear idea of what in the name of arse it is we do round here...I mean, I invited JRR4FILM to join us in our quest to "rid the world of homogenised blandness and sauce it up with occasional rude/smutty/filthy references that bring smirks to the faces of so many". Succinct, yes, but is that all we do? Is there a bigger picture, or even smaller details, that I am failing to address?


Your thoughts on this matter would be appreciated, *looks at you all pointedly over her spectacles* Councillors, as I am intent on drafting a constitution.


I leave you all to ponder this matter and continue your day....

Special Council Session - Monday 22 November 2010

Councillors...*nods to each of you* Greetings to you all for the new week.

Our presence here at Blogger is coming up to a month in age and I am struck by the fact that we still look like we did on the 24th of October...

I seek ideas from all of you...what images would best represent us, colours that would do the same...I want our Island Nation of Gallimaufry to have a flag and rather than just going all snotty regal on you all and saying well we're having this, I want to be able to instead exercise some measure of democracy.

We have a collective pool of influences, ideas and  that unite under the banner of The Pervy Council and I want to be able to harness that, channel it into a creative treatment for the blog.

So please ... *spreads arms out to you all* ...ideas, thoughts, suggestions, if you would all be so bold....

Council Session - Friday 19th November 2010

*bangs gavel to bring session to order...unfortunately its in time to Madness' House of Fun and is not inclined to cease banging till the song ends....*

Right then, this week, you lot....err, my esteemed Council Members *dips head with both reverence and a slight hint of apology* ...

This week, I have seen an improvement in our Pervy Stats and must compliment M'lady Bitsy for her suggesting that she'd bedded Brad Pitt during her tea break...even if it was only in a conversation with herself on Twitter, it was a decided highlight in perviness, so well done Bitsy *moves to salute Bitsy but still has gavel in hand and inadvertently knocks self out with it*

Position of the Week

Hi Gang

Due to a very busy weekend I completley forgot about position of the week . Therefore this week will be " FREESTYLE" I want you all to go out there and shag like rabbits try anything and everything and report back with anything you feel would beneftit the groups sexual enhancement . Being as we are called the pervy council I would like to ask you all what is the most perverse thing you have ever done?? Look forward to receiving your answers .

Bitsyvonmuffin
Minister for Sex Education

A Royal Flush (i.e. down the toilet)

I just thought I would like to congratulate the royal couple on their engagement.

No, I really do. Good for them.

But I would like to point out to every single newspaper and TV channel in the UK and probably most of the world that this is not ground breaking or important news. FFS this wedding is about 6 months away and my tiny mind is already fed up to the eyeballs with all the press and publicity. I was wondering what the Pervy Council make of the newsworthiness of this story... and possibly the attitude we have towards the people involved. (in particular those non-Brits amongst the clan)

This whole whirlwind of the past 24-ish hours has made me slightly nervy and emotional as I personally hate so much talk of weddings and marriage up-front, in-my-face, for many different reasons, which I kind of guess most of you know about. (if not, there will be a post on my own blog soonish explaining more)

I would just like to inform all my fellow Pervy Councillors that when... ooooops MAJOR typo there...that IF I ever get married my 'story will be sold only to the Pervy Council website and of course every single one of you is invited. If the twitter hash tag of #royalwedding is good enough for William and Kate, I suggest that IF the big day ever arrives my hash tag should me #annisFINALLYgettingmarried (emphasis on the finally part - me and the BF has been together 13 years now and am getting seriously itchy)





*BTW when I say itchy I don't mean I have some kind of contagious disease, I mean that I am wondering when the fuck it is going to happen...

Council Session - Friday 12th November 2010

*bangs gavel to bring session to order*

I wish to bring up the disappointing lack of filthy, dirty, pervy smut-riddled references here and on Twitter. All of us are guilty this week of failing to provide adequate saturation of our chief mandate...which I am still unclear about myself...errrrrr... turning the world back 40 years so we're talking like we were in a Carry On film?

I noted only several on Twitter from we, the self-proclaimed ruling body of such important work in the world.

If you do make a FDPS-RR on Twitter, please ensure that it is appropriately hash-tagged  - #PervyCouncil -  so that we can spread the word and create interest in our cesspit of sauciness and depravity...or our cause, however politically-correct or morally-upstanding you're feeling today

After an initial burst of energy, we all seem to be lax in our contributions to the blog. I will, however, accept that many of us have been pre-occupied in the last week. I think there was the understanding that there would be no pressure to contribute here but even one entry here per week from all of us would be sufficient, even if it's just a post in your Council office about you playing tennis in the nude.

Under scruitny

I need absolutely every ounce of the Pervy Councils support (and possibly the next week too)

As you know I am working in one school 2 days a week doing 1:1 tuition, plus I am working in another school doing general supply cover plus I'll be starting 1:1 there next week. I am teaching in this second school for the next 1 1/2 days, however the school is also being inspected by OFTED for the next 2 days. PLUS my other school is awaiting an OFSTED any week now.

I must also tell you that the reason these OFSTEDs are so eagerly anticipated is because both schools I am working at are in Special Measures and any improvement shown by any memeber of staff - no matter how new - is important. I have been in teaching since 2000 and evaded OFSTED for almost 11 years of teaching and now I could get 2 inspections is the space of amonth, even a fortnight.

I feel sick and very scared.
I apologise for this moan but I need all the support I can get right now...


..ADDENDUM...

OFSTED inspections are roughly done every 2-3 years depending on the standard of the school. They can last anywhere from 1/2 a day to a couple of days depening on the size of school and foci of the inspection. In the olden days, a school got 4-6 weeks notice, now they can phone up unannounced and say 'we will be there in 2 days time'.
In my situation, as the schools are both in Special Measures, they get mini kind of inspections quite often, just to make sure they are sticking to the improvement plans (blah blah blah) but get a 'proper' inspection every year. The school in Bath which I am working at has been in Special Measures for quite a while now and they are hoping that this inspection may see them removed from SM.

So what happens in an inspection... well I kinda don't know as I have never been party to one. From what I know they spend the majority of their time swotting over the paperwork and talking to the management part of the school, checking that they have been following the improvement plan. They will also have time to watch lessons, do an exercise book or planning scrutiny but this will probably be 1 lesson per teacher (again depending on the size of the school and the foci of the visit)

I guess I may have a lot to talk about after this week is over:o/