Geography
Think the Monaco Harbour, a touch of the Venetian canals, enormous slashings of Phillip Island and the Isle of Man and the verdant, rocky bits of Tasmania and voila! you have Gallimaufry Island.
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ClimateRather nice actually – not too hot (none of that 40°C+ malarkey), not too cold (none of that brass monkeys nonsense). It has been known to be a bit fresh in the morning (10-12°C), while the afternoons do a lovely 28-30°C and through the magic of bullshit, it is like this all year round.
Occasionally, the sea surrounding the island does get a bit antsy but you can’t have everything, because you have to have a bloody sea breeze and drama sometimes. By the Queen’s decree, it rains vigorously between 6 & 8 AM every Thursday which suits the populace fine because they don’t have to start work til 10 that day.
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Cities, Towns & SightsJuan (capital)
- Harbour
- Shopping & Business District
- Red Light District
- Arts Centre
- Gallimaufry West University
- Sporting Stadium
de Dion (town)
- Marina
- Gallimaufry East University
- Motor Racing Circuit & Motorsport Park
- Marina
- Bay & Beach
- Stellar Observatory
- Queen’s Château
- Military Headquarters
- Military & Emergency Service ports
- Civilian Air & Sea ports
- Womble Sanctuary (recycling centre)
- Prison
- Research Station
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ReligionNo formal religion has a foothold or place of worship on this island – the populace is free to believe and practise their religion in their own home. Workers required to recognise their religious beliefs during work hours can do so in a private, non-obtrusive manner.
Education of religion is limited to the philosophies & histories behind the recognised faiths. The Queen gets well peeved when she hears of others trying to foist their beliefs onto others and once set the dogs on two JW’s who dared knock on the door of her hilltop retreat.
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Language/sEnglish, Bad English, plus a bit of French & Italian when we’re trying to impress the tourists. Under no circumstances is German or Welsh to be uttered in public – nothing personal, it’s just all sounds so aggressive or phlegmy.
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HistoryThe Macquarie Concise Dictionary defines Gallimaufry as a hotchpotch; jumble; confused medley and when you have interests as diverse as the Queen’s…well, the French do have a way with words, don’t they, so let’s nick that
Mostly stuff the Queen made up on the bus, in the bath or whilst drunk, the origins of Gallimaufry can be traced back ten years to a desire to acquire Phillip Island for the sole purpose of motor racing, boozing and raunchiness.
The visionaries were the current Queen, her nephew David and former next-door neighbour Jason and while their schemes amounted to only a few scribbled notes and a dodgy hand-drawn map denoting the intended rezoning of Phillip Island, that dream has been semi-almost-not really realised here on Gallimaufry.
Another important development central to the Gallimaufrian culture is the unique culmination of education, employment, industry and competition for motorsport. When the town of Mallala was stripped of it’s V8 Supercar round and the track fell into what might be considered the annals of history as far as the nation’s interest was concerned, the Queen and another of her nephews, “the Bear” Daniel , envisaged a motorsport mecca for the small South Australian town, where youths would be educated from the outset to be the best bloody drivers, engineers, mechanics and team managers they could be, in the Australian way.
When the $100,000,000 required to bring that venture to fruition never magically materialised, Queenie & Bear were well disheartened. But nae, that Mecca for Motorsport is now Gallimaufry.
Traditional primary and secondary education is enriched by motorsport study and activities at the Gallimaufry East School, with the aim of fostering and developing great talents and providing a comprehensive knowledge and experience base that can be exported out into the wider motorsport world.
Gallimaufry University’s East Campus boasts state of the art workshops and laboratories, the Brabham Library & Study Hall, sports medicine support, fitness centre and programmes, apprenticeships and placements within Gallimaufry’s extensive motorsport business network, as well as supervised accommodations for all (eligible/non-resident) students.
Another collaborative arena that as an independent nation Gallimaufry has sought to weave into it’s tapestry is the world of performing arts and digital medias, along with the host of supporting disciplines that go into making music, films, television, stage productions and computer games.
The Gallimaufry West School and University West Campus seek to fulfil basic academic requirements while providing a creative, supportive environment to nature artistic endeavour. West schools enjoy major industry support from Gallimaufry Studios, home of the island’s flourishing film, television and digital media empire, as well as the entertainment venues in the capital, such as the Port Juan Amphitheatre, The Nucleus (performing arts centre) and other smaller venues and sites.
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Constitution & Government Stuff made up in the Port Juan Arms pub snooker hall (rather euphemistically known as the Council Chambers) by the Queen and Pervy Council. Members of the Public can join this forum, particularly if they buy the Queen a drink.
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JusticeDispensed Mondays mornings & Thursday afternoons at the Queen’s Office, downtown Juan. You really don’t want to do anything stupid over the weekend – Monday morning justice isn’t cool.
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Festivals & Holidays February - Festival of Speed: (month-long motorsport carnival)
September – Celebration of Sight & Sound (festival showcasing the local arts community)
October 5th - Queen’s Birthday (public holiday)
PLEASE NOTE This post will be updated from time to further fascinating details
